A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

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A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by Reloaderguy » Wed May 02, 2018 8:08 pm

There once was a young strapping lad who owned the Best Year™ Power Wagon and all was joyous in the land. On one fateful festive adventure into the great cold white north the strapping you lad's Best Year™ Power Wagon developed a devious abnormal auditorious emanation from deep within its soul. Upon returning from the great cold white north the strapping young lad delivered his Best Year™ Power Wagon to the local wizards of FCA to diagnose and repair the devious and abnormal auditorios emanation. FCA's wizards began ferociously diagnosing the abnormal emanation with their magnificent Witech proclaiming "all is well, strapping young lad. Your Best Year™ Power Wagon doth have no codes therefor no abnormal emanation is possible".

Now would be a good time for our mighty readers to step back and look slightly closer at the strapping young lad who owns the Best Year" Power Wagon. He was born tri-quarter past the glorious 1900's, and while young and strapping, not born in the day preceding today. Our strapping young lad also born of a beautiful mother and gifted with a keen olfactory; he is unmoved by fool's tales.

Detecting the wiff of the backside of a bull, the strapping young lad rejected the prognostication of the wizzard's ouija box. The strapping young lad was prepared for such shenanigans and demanded proper wizzardry as a great many shilling had been expensed for the Best Year™ Power Wagon. The wizzard's dull helpers relented and swore allegiance to bringing the strapping young lad's magnificent steed back to it's glorious self.

The wizard's dull helpers exchanged the strapping young lad's Best Year™ Power Wagon for an unglorious steed fitting of a court jester with an affinity for serpents. Alas, Best Year™ Power Wagon must be repaired so the strapping young lad accepted the jester's locomotive and awaited a summons from the wizard's dull helpers.

A summons did not appear for our strapping young lad! He raged with the fury of a thousands suns infected with scrotal distemper! His magical google box exploded with raw emotion as he summoned the dull helpers first. Remis and full of apology, the dull helpers delivered terrible news; they proclaimed a terrible yet all too common affliction within the lifter bank and told stories of back orders and lengthy waits. This was deeply troubling to the strapping young lad as he had plans of travel and welding for his Best Year™ Power Wagon. What could he do? The wizard's dull helpers returned the Best Year™ Power Wagon and the long wait began.

Welding! Oh the welding and the travel happened. The strapping young lad traveled to the artisan Marcus' celebrated and famous welding parlor where a Knights of Thuren truss was affixed. Best Year™ Power Wagon was even more splendid...if not for the abnormal auditorious emanation.

After a fortnight, the wizard's dull helpers summoned the strapping young lad with great news of short orders of back and promises of repair. The Best Year™ Power Wagon was again surrendered to the dull helpers. The strapping young lad was not forgetful of the bull's stench and kept fastidious mental notations each and every time the pungent odor became present. The wizard's dull helpers could not avoid, they must have bathed directly in the bull's gaping rectum.

Forever an optimist, the strapping young lad knew such tumultuous occasions would work themselves out and he would keep a positive disposition. He patiently awaited further audible notations via the Google box and mail of electronica.

<The King's Crickets>

<The King's Crickets>

<The King's Crickets>

The Google box exploded to life with the proclamations of the dull helpers, the Best Year™ Power Wagon was wholly great again and ready to be returned (with lights of the daylight activated). The strapping young lad's heart fluttered and he was elated. However, he was mindful of the bull's odor. These dull helpers are not capable of breath without passing the rotting hole stench.

Upon returning from another champion week of jaunting about the North by West Pacific, the strapping young lad reunited with his Best Year™ Power Wagon. He carefully warmed and caressed his Best Year™ Power Wagon in the absence of the dull helpers to yet judge himself if glory had been restored or of the bull's rectum had been marked on his locomotive.

Sad times and rage! The waizard's dull helpers and the turners of wrenches repaired the ills of unsuffered parts! Lights of day not activated, and to add sand into the strapping young lads eye, dinosaur water remained on the exterior armor of the Best Year™ Power Wagon's soul. These dull helpers could not heft their own backsides with the aid of a hand maiden, shame and the plague of a thousand herpes be upon them!

The strapping young lad formulated a bold plan to attack the wizard's castle with his Best Year™ Power Wagon but relented when his rational bearer of heirs presented wise alternative. The strapping young raged into the Google box at the dull helpers demanding the wizard himself avail his presence. Reluctantly the wizard appeared and the strapping young lad described the smells of the bull's hind quarter. The wizard concerned himself greatly with his own stench and proclaimed a stench does not exist in his magical paradise. The strapping young lad pressed further and demanded satisfaction or he would be forced to bring forth his army and drag the origins of the stench out with his strapping bare hands.

The wizard, a coward, showed his belly and again traded the Best Year™ Power Wagon for a jester's locoomotive. Dull helpers and wrench turners capable of neither resolution nor satisfaction slunk away in shame. The strapping young lad committed to another fortnight in shameful chariot. Alas, these dull helpers and wrench turners, so incompetent, discuss the exchange of the Best Year™ Power Wagon's soul. Folly, the lot of them. Incapable of diagnostic means, only of swapped parts!
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by 13powerwagon » Wed May 02, 2018 8:32 pm

So I’m assuming you have a lifter that seized up and wore out your cam shaft?
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by TommyG » Wed May 02, 2018 8:51 pm

Sorry to hear that brother. I was just without my manly steed for a week too while flying monkeys and dwarfs played with it. They were not happy yesterday when I drug them into the parking lot in the 90 degree heat in front of the boss to let the 70 PSI of air they put into my 37s down to a pressure lower than the maximum cold pressure recommended by Toyo. Do those work shirts just come with silly badges and clown shoes or does one have to earn them?
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by Bill2014 » Wed May 02, 2018 8:52 pm

Strap-on young lad,

Trade that foul smelling, poser-best-year Wagon in! :poke:

:D
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by Reloaderguy » Wed May 02, 2018 8:57 pm

13powerwagon wrote:
Wed May 02, 2018 8:32 pm
So I’m assuming you have a lifter that seized up and wore out your cam shaft?
Your assumption assumes a proper diagnostic was ever done. We are in the tail end of the "throw parts at it" stage after a stethoscope diagnosis. The passenger side lifters were replaced but there was never anything wrong with them. I doubt the parts swappers checked the cam. FCA is now getting involved because the OEM is not going to keep paying the dealer to throw parts at it. I am expecting them to skip right over "proper diagnosis" and go straight to replacing the engine. It's a valve train issue, not bottom end, and did not change at all when they pulled the head and changed the lifters.

I work with dealerships and service departments every day, I knew what they were going to do as soon as they called and told me the Witech said there was no problems. The service writer knew it as well when she tried to preempt my reaction. In meeting with the service manager I can see why the department is run so poorly.

Three possible outcomes:

1) Change parts until they get lucky and fix the problem.
2) Replace the engine.
3) Deny warranty and blame me

They swapped the lifters so they can't blame me and FCA won't pay them to keep swapping parts. The funny part is I don't even thinks it's all that serious, they service dealer is just a bunch of shitty parts swappers incapable of real diagnostic work.
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by 13powerwagon » Wed May 02, 2018 9:08 pm

I feel your pain, mine went in today for a stumble during startup. I have 93000 on the clock and thankfully it’s still under warranty. First words out of the service managers mouth were “have we replaced your cam shaft”? They seem to think I have a stuck lifter that has worn out the cam, no evidence to back this up, just their assumption. I was told if it wasn’t the cam shaft they might go ahead and replace it anyway just for grins.
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by Reloaderguy » Wed May 02, 2018 9:10 pm

I was thinking today my dream truck is a rolling chassis without a powertrain or warranty. Imagine if you could buy a brand new Power Wagon with blank integrated computer like a Holley and then fit any engine and transmission combo you wanted. Knock $20k off the price and build your dream truck. No more bullshit proprietary hemi, just blown LS opensource goodness. For as expensive as the 6.4 is, I can build an LS for less that would smoke the fuck out of it. T6 and an Atlas on the back.
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by 13powerwagon » Wed May 02, 2018 9:33 pm

There is always legacy power wagons. They will build you whatever you want. If I had 200k to blow that’s what I would buy.
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by TwinStick » Thu May 03, 2018 12:36 am

Sorry for your troubles r-guy, that really sucks.

But seriously, you need to think about writing...........you have a knack for it for sure. I enjoyed what you did there !!! :rockon:
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G-56 Gear ratios: 1st) 6.29:1 2nd) 3.48:1 3rd) 2.10:1 4th) 1.38:1 5th) 1.0:1 6th) 0.79:1 Rev 6.29:1 --- = 78.01613:1 Crawl Ratio
-------------------------5.94:1--------3.28:1-------1.98:1-------1.31:1-------1.0:1-------0.74:1-----5.42:1 ---- = 73.675:1
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by TommyG » Thu May 03, 2018 8:32 am

Reloaderguy wrote:
Wed May 02, 2018 9:10 pm
I was thinking today my dream truck is a rolling chassis without a powertrain or warranty. Imagine if you could buy a brand new Power Wagon with blank integrated computer like a Holley and then fit any engine and transmission combo you wanted. Knock $20k off the price and build your dream truck. No more bullshit proprietary hemi, just blown LS opensource goodness. For as expensive as the 6.4 is, I can build an LS for less that would smoke the fuck out of it. T6 and an Atlas on the back.
This would be pure bliss.
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by Retired BLM Rig » Thu May 03, 2018 9:33 am

:nopics: So I'll add a couple for the readers enjoyment.

I did this one 6 months ago.
IMG_1147.JPG
Worn through the ever-so-thin hard facing of the roller.
IMG_1149.JPG
All that missing metal has to go somewhere, hopefully into the filter.
IMG_1148.JPG
Pitted and galled valve stem which will also be mirrored on the rocker arm.

Unfortunately your sorrows will not end until someone does a thorough inspection of every component of the valve train.
I suspect a valve job and possibly rocker arms may be required.

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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by Bill2014 » Thu May 03, 2018 10:24 am

Reloader - I seem to remember that you are not fond of PUP and are running something else in your engine. Did that ever come up as the dealership was working to resolve your woes?

Dealerships love to point fingers...
Last edited by Bill2014 on Thu May 03, 2018 10:26 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by Reloaderguy » Thu May 03, 2018 10:24 am

Retired BLM Rig wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 9:33 am


Unfortunately your sorrows will not end until someone does a thorough inspection of every component of the valve train.
Ain't nobody got time fo dat.

They had the heads off already, if they were going to check they would have. Maybe a new engine is a blessing in disguise.
Last edited by Reloaderguy on Thu May 03, 2018 10:30 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by Reloaderguy » Thu May 03, 2018 10:27 am

Bill2014 wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 10:24 am
Reloader - I seem to remember that you are not fond of PUP and are running something else in your engine. Did that ever come up as the dealership was working to resolve your woes?
Never came up. I have Amsoil in it and service records if it matters. Short of sludging, I doubt they even have a way of checking.
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by adeluca73 » Thu May 03, 2018 4:39 pm

Reloaderguy wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 10:27 am
Bill2014 wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 10:24 am
Reloader - I seem to remember that you are not fond of PUP and are running something else in your engine. Did that ever come up as the dealership was working to resolve your woes?
Never came up. I have Amsoil in it and service records if it matters. Short of sludging, I doubt they even have a way of checking.
Wow, after all that, I got you didn't play sports, were a DnD nerd, think game of thrones is appointment TV, and were the chapter President of the local 4-H, good work.

oh, and I hope they replace you engine instead of turning it into a Franken-truck and perform a dozen surgeries trying to replace their way to fix.

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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by Colibri » Thu May 03, 2018 10:47 pm

Reading that I now know how it would feel if my truck broke down in the parking lot at renfest lol
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by Reloaderguy » Fri May 04, 2018 9:25 am

Colibri wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 10:47 pm
Reading that I now know how it would feel if my truck broke down in the parking lot at renfest lol
There is much handmaiden backside to be slayed with a Power Wagon at Renfest.
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by Retired BLM Rig » Fri May 04, 2018 4:22 pm

83B379A1-23F0-46F2-8339-345F7190C1D3.jpeg
The original Ram Power Wagon at Renfest.

I think back then it was called the Wench Mob.

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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by Reloaderguy » Fri May 04, 2018 4:58 pm

adeluca73 wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 4:39 pm
Reloaderguy wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 10:27 am
Bill2014 wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 10:24 am
Reloader - I seem to remember that you are not fond of PUP and are running something else in your engine. Did that ever come up as the dealership was working to resolve your woes?
Never came up. I have Amsoil in it and service records if it matters. Short of sludging, I doubt they even have a way of checking.
Wow, after all that, I got you didn't play sports, were a DnD nerd, think game of thrones is appointment TV, and were the chapter President of the local 4-H, good work.

oh, and I hope they replace you engine instead of turning it into a Franken-truck and perform a dozen surgeries trying to replace their way to fix.

:winchmob:
Lets see, soft handmaidens in corsets...or...Iceman and Maverick playing beach volleyball, oiled up, and the winner gets to play hide the tailhook in the afterburner. I know, tough choice.
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by olyelr » Fri May 04, 2018 10:16 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by Low_Sky » Sat May 05, 2018 12:49 am

Reloaderguy wrote:
Fri May 04, 2018 4:58 pm
adeluca73 wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 4:39 pm
Reloaderguy wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 10:27 am


Never came up. I have Amsoil in it and service records if it matters. Short of sludging, I doubt they even have a way of checking.
Wow, after all that, I got you didn't play sports, were a DnD nerd, think game of thrones is appointment TV, and were the chapter President of the local 4-H, good work.

oh, and I hope they replace you engine instead of turning it into a Franken-truck and perform a dozen surgeries trying to replace their way to fix.

:winchmob:
Lets see, soft handmaidens in corsets...or...Iceman and Maverick playing beach volleyball, oiled up, and the winner gets to play hide the tailhook in the afterburner. I know, tough choice.
Everyone that's hating on your story, but thinking Top Gun sounds pretty good --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEURsGD0-WQ
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by adeluca73 » Wed May 09, 2018 12:27 pm

Reloaderguy wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 10:27 am


Lets see, soft handmaidens in corsets...or...Iceman and Maverick playing beach volleyball, oiled up, and the winner gets to play hide the tailhook in the afterburner. I know, tough choice.
Standard civilian mistake. The Air Force and Navy are two different services. The navy is the service that packs 5000 dudes in a metal container and floats them around the globe like a rubber ducky in a tub. It's ok though, lots of folks confuse the two...it's like me confusing Harry Potter & a Magic Convention with Robin Hood at renaissance festival. Nothing like chugging copious amounts of period correct Natty Light out of a wooden mug and watching an ole jousting match at Medieval Times and screaming like the idiots at the Iron Bowl for the "red Knights" to slay the wretched "blue Knights" whilst summoning the waitress with calls of "wench, I thirst, request ye charge my chalice" to which the girl (a co-ed at the local J-co), flashes you a quick hate dart and the international communications signal (ask Goose, he knows)....tough choice.
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by BoldAdventure » Wed May 09, 2018 12:46 pm

adeluca73 wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 4:39 pm

Wow, after all that, I got you didn't play sports, were a DnD nerd, think game of thrones is appointment TV, and were the chapter President of the local 4-H, good work.

Kids in 4-H play sports and aren't DnD nerds.
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by Bill2014 » Wed May 09, 2018 1:29 pm

MikeKey wrote:
Wed May 09, 2018 12:46 pm
adeluca73 wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 4:39 pm

Wow, after all that, I got you didn't play sports, were a DnD nerd, think game of thrones is appointment TV, and were the chapter President of the local 4-H, good work.

Kids in 4-H play sports and aren't DnD nerds.
Well - I'm glad we cleared that up! :poke:
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Re: A Tale of Diagnostic Woe

Post by Reloaderguy » Wed May 09, 2018 1:41 pm

adeluca73 wrote:
Wed May 09, 2018 12:27 pm
Reloaderguy wrote:
Thu May 03, 2018 10:27 am


Lets see, soft handmaidens in corsets...or...Iceman and Maverick playing beach volleyball, oiled up, and the winner gets to play hide the tailhook in the afterburner. I know, tough choice.
Standard civilian mistake. The Air Force and Navy are two different services. The navy is the service that packs 5000 dudes in a metal container and floats them around the globe like a rubber ducky in a tub. It's ok though, lots of folks confuse the two...it's like me confusing Harry Potter & a Magic Convention with Robin Hood at renaissance festival. Nothing like chugging copious amounts of period correct Natty Light out of a wooden mug and watching an ole jousting match at Medieval Times and screaming like the idiots at the Iron Bowl for the "red Knights" to slay the wretched "blue Knights" whilst summoning the waitress with calls of "wench, I thirst, request ye charge my chalice" to which the girl (a co-ed at the local J-co), flashes you a quick hate dart and the international communications signal (ask Goose, he knows)....tough choice.
Ever notice Major Nelson never tried to band Jeannie? Sorry the Navy wouldn't let you on their boat.
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